| Danglin' Buttnuggets |
[Jun. 24th, 2008|11:56 am] |
So check out where I'm going tonight
Apparently there is supposed to be porn stars and "cum-dripping" performances by drag queens. It should be a riot, actually. I don't have anyone to go to gay bars here as most of my friends are straight so it will be nice to get out and do something. Plus, I need to meet some mutha fuckin' PEEPS.
Quick fast update on whats happened in the past couple of years:
- Still living in San Francisco - specifically here
- Working for this website, Wcities
- Still going to SF state :( (when will I graduate!?)
- Met a bartender about 7 months ago who lives in The Castro and the relationship is going down the tubes.
- I fucking hate The Castro
- Going to NYC/Pittsburgh with said bartender in the first week of August. Yes, I'm confused too.
- Seeing a psychiatrist (as if thats any big surprise)
- My brother married lovely Destiny and is having a baby. I'm going to be an Uncle.... The Gay Uncle, probably around July 12th of this year.
I guess thats about it. Lately I've been pretty depressed at the turn of events that this relationship has taken. Its wearin' me out, to be honest. There is just no understanding of where I'm coming from. If what I'm saying or feeling is not in line with his reality or what he has to do, you can pretty much forget about any kind of consideration or understanding. If its wrong, I'm wrong, and his reality and feelings automatically trump anything that is important to me. Pretty awesome, eh? However, to give him some credit, it wouldn't have lasted 7 months if there wasn't some kind of connection and amazingness between us.
I used to think that being in a relationship was great and it would give me that added element that I seemed to have been missing. In reality, that missing element was with me and being in a relationship has only made things more difficult, stressful, and emotional. Sometimes I wonder if its even worth it to go through all these relationships in a lifetime if they all seem to just end at some point. I might as well just start dating when I'm ready to settle down.
Anyway, I'm at work now and I have a lot of city guides to scrub and edit. so, uh, bye.
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2006|07:16 pm] |
finding things is pretty cool. I need to do some shit tomorrow, lets see:
-Call the DMV to get license renewed
-Email Granddad
-Do Laundry
-Clean my room
-Probably do some more laundry because whatever was in the washer is now in the dryer and now its dry because it took me 56 minutes to clean my room
-run errands with jimmy
-have a session
*BREAK!*
Alright lets do it, I'm off to Senor Pepe's. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|06:18 pm] |
Well christmas was enjoyable. I did fuck all and it was fantastic.
Oh and I got a new phone, its pretty sweet. It's got 1.3 Megapixel camera, 250Gb of memory, awesome external speakers, and can play pretty much anything. Oh and it has a video camera. SWEEEEEEET. sometimesIuseitintheshower.
when my parents come home from work it is always the most depressing. I hate when they come home from work. They walk in the door and just immediately bitch at me for what I didn't do and tell me to do 5,000 other things. Plus I didn't do the laundry which my mom is about to find out about in, oh say, 3 seconds. Yup, there it was. I'm in trouble now.
Maigon is coming over and hopefully we'll just scram somewhere. I think we're going to paul's studio to just rock out, listen to his band, and smoke joints. It'll be pretty nice. All this talk of weed reminds me how expensive it is. I'm just worried about my financial situation when I go to KS on the 18th. I'm not really sure what I'm gonna use to pay for stuff... I guess I'll just max out my card or something. Going over to Pauls will be fun, I don't know if I could do it not stoned. It will give me an excuse when I'm just sitting on the couch staring because I don't know how to play a guitar and everyone else and their mother does. I'll just sit there and be stoned I guess.
GOD, what the hell is this? I hate how my parents use money as an excuse to control me. I never asked to be put under your financial demise, I was born into it. You chose to provide for me, I just don't understand why you get to use it in every situation to force to do things that otherwise no person in their right mind would ever want to do (ie. clean the garage, put away our holiday-drenched house, clean the shed) I mean I know it could be worse, it could be MUCH worse, but rather than forcing me with situations out of my control that will immediately get me hating my life and yours and send me into an uncontrollable sprial of elicit sex, violence, drug abuse and depression, why not just ask me. I can't wait until im out of their control. My dad keeps asking me if I want a car, I keep telling him "no" because he doesn't understand that I don't want to deal with his bullshit anymore.
anyway, time to smoke |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2005|12:37 am] |
"She wondered if she should make a soup for dinner, if she had enough salted shrimp for seasoning, if she should buy an extra head of cabbage to shred in the broth, if she should use her plain dishes or her fancy ones."
-Tin House, Emerging Voices
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 54.
3. Find the seventh sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal...along with these instructions |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2005|01:14 pm] |
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Bryan Adams can serenade me ANY day |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|02:34 am] |
Its almost gotten to the point where I don't want to write anymore. I just say the same shit over and over and nothing really changes. I'm so tired of being so unsatisfied with whats going on. I'm exhausted from being lonely, im tired of being gay and being attracted to men, im tired of liking lame shit and being embarressed because of it.
A companion is definitely needed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2005|01:38 pm] |
I pause... lie in wait.
I am a predator of the night. I seek and destroy. Hunt and Gather. Lay bloodshed all across my path. Today in french my teacher was even more depressing. I always have these intense feelings for my french teachers and I pity them immensely. I don't know why this is, however it could be due to the fact they all look so homely. My teacher now wears the same type of pants all the time- dark blue. And always has her weird stringy hair all ways the same, over her face and in her eyes. shes so weird. I wish she has a boyfriend... or girlfriend, its kinda hard to tell. She didn't know how to pronounce laundromat today... boy, this class is amazing. Anyway, continuing on with my story: A flash! immediately my eyes are locked- stealthily I manuver through the foliage, all senses heightened. "Him... or me," I think. He's close now, easy reach. Wait, he sees me! no.. all he can see is darkness.
I am the darkness.
ravagely I attack! Gruesome at every angle. Blood, organs, brains, eyes- all are splattered mercilessly into the mud around us. I let out a growl and with one smooth move, fit my teeth around his jugular. Its soft and i break the skin easily. I can feel the pulsing pressure of liquid running into my mouth, my tongue. I can taste the life run out of him. I can taste victory... future..
...grandpa. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2005|09:47 pm] |
I believe it has to be said:
I LOVE THIS MAN!!!!!!!
He is the most amazing man. The End.
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|05:56 pm] |
yet again I have severed ties to forge relationships with other people
that would likely only become innocent at best. The reasons why I do
this are unknown to me. I'm scared of the unknown. Hence how I'm
feeling now.
Let me take you on a journey back, back to the land of "5 minutes
earlier" where upon entering the Towers housing establishment I came
across an old floormate of mine, Nick. Nick was a good guy he always
had his intentions at best, but somehow I could never find the reason
to hang out with- and I don't know why. "Why not? He's a good guy,
right?," injected the crowd of a thousand shrieking "Ah'ntohpni's" "I
can barely cry my eyes out anymore. I need to leave this place- its
just too much since jeff died. Yes, I know hes dead now, I know he's
dead." Well yes, but this was because neither I nor him took any real
interest to further the relationship so it stood, limbo'd in this
forever awkward stage. This is the dialouge as follows:
Me, walking briskly into the towers residence, eyes low, looking nowhere. But, I notice him.
"uh... h-HEY there nick"
"Hey Casey! Whats up?"
I keep walking. I turn around and talk and walk backwards (like an idiot.)
"Oooh you know, just hangin out, I ...uh think I might have stuff to finish yup from class..." looks to the wall.
" LIKE HOMEWORK?!?"
now obviously that's not how it came out, however, it will always ring about ten times worse in my skull
"y-yeah, I know... I know... I just-"
"Well you look like you're just ready'd t-"
"HAHAHA!! yeah,
yeah I know, I think i'm going to pass out here in a sec." yeah, Casey,
lets take this on home. "I'll, I'll uh see ya later, nick"
"...yeah, yeah see ya Casey..."
Wow, he made me feel like a nerd for doing homework on a friday night
and announced it to the whole lobby, as well as making me feel guilty
for walking away. Oh, well I'll just go upstairs and write about it in
my online journal because I just evaded a bunch of frisbee playing cool
guys. Nice one, Casey way to expand your horizons. So in my room I sit,
and eat, and eat some more.
Thats probably why I don't hang out with him.
de nada,
Casey
P.S. BETHS BRUNCH T MINUS 2 DAYS!!!
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 10th, 2005|12:36 pm] |
Retirees Rise Up Against Gang Violence
All Are Killed
Over
a 20-year period, they saw their neighborhood deteriorate from a
colorful pastiche of hard-working immigrants to an earthly hell of gang
violence and terror. But when it came to putting up or moving out, one
plucky group of senior citizens in the Fairfield section of Los Angeles
decided age wouldn't stand in the way of protecting their community.
 Edele
Parks, machine gunned; Bud Parks, brained with 40-ounce bottle of malt
liquor; Harvey Pell, run over by Buick; and Lila Johns, slipped on own
hat. The enterprising seniors formed a community watchdog
group called "Seniors Against Gangs," and boldly took their message to
the street. Taking a brisk three-block walk from the senior center to a
known gang hangout, a vacant lot near an abandoned Asian grocery, the
seniors faced the gangs head on.
"Stop terrorizing our neighborhoods!" Stan Grewsilski, 88, demanded.
Grewsilski, who served in our nation's armed forces during World War
II, was swiftly seized by four gang members and stabbed 12 times in the
kidney with a rusty screwdriver.
But the surviving seniors were undaunted. Though one, Rose Freuknes,
fell faint, the others turned and fled while continuing to reprimand
the gang members.
"Aaah! No!" Gladys Rankin shouted as she was tripped and quickly
surrounded by a dozen young gang bangers. "Stop! Please!" Harv Brenuisi
pleaded. Both were anally raped amid gang taunts, then pulverized with
machine-gun fire. The last senior to die, Thelma Frekjs, was chained to
a stolen Buick and dragged through the city.
Fairfield's remaining 113 seniors mobilized in a manner reminiscent of the old days.
At 8 p.m., as the Fairfield Senior Center's annual rendition of Showboat let
out onto Jackson Street, Mickey O'Donoghue saw Marco's Corner Market
being held up. This, in combination with the recent "Seniors Against
Gangs," inspired him to take action. Along with the rest of the
emerging crowd, O'Donoghue, who was wheelchair-bound and only
maintained use of his left arm above the wrist, raced across the street
to confront the hoods.
The seniors decided to make a stand, emboldened by the fact that
they outnumbered the gang members 113 to five. And for a while, it
looked like they might just win.
Television cameras captured such moving images as two seniors,
Myrtle Laine and Bea Rifkin, holding down one punk and hitting him with
oversized handbags. The Senior Center next to the convenience store was
abuzz with energy for the first time in years, even if only for the
28-minute duration of the battle.
The tide inevitably turned, as other gangs came upon the scene and
joined the fracas. Instead of trying to smite their rival gang members,
they joined forces with them, creating an all-out Battle of the AgesTM.
Even with their organizational prowess and sense of purpose, the
seniors were no match for the strength and numbers of the nine gangs
that assembled in Fairfield. In fact, the seniors' uprising led the
gangs to work together for a common cause for the first time in years.
According to one gang member, seeing who could take out the most
elderly became a friendly competition between rivals.
"I realized that I have more in common with the 99th Street Killaz
than I previously thought," said Luis Guerrero, a member of the rival
Huevos Rancheros gang. "I mean, after all, aren't we all brothers?"
Meanwhile, family members of the slain mourned their collective loss.
"My father, God rest his soul, came to this country alone, moved to
Fairfield, and worked 63 years in a shoe factory," said Ronald
Michaels, son of Hans Mikelveck, 91. "Fortunately, I moved away from
Fairfield after college, and, you know, with the way rent is these
days, there just wasn't room for him in my house."
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|01:43 pm] |
why is my roommate always occupying the
same space or using the same facility that I need to be using at that
exact moment?!?!?!? I WANT TO KILL HIM!
If I need to use the shower because im in a hurry- he's in it.
If I want to watch TV- he's watching it
If I want to blast music- he's sleeping
If I want some private time to "take care of some business"- he has friends over or is watching queer as folk
WHAT THE FUCK.
oh and here are some of my other annoyances:
Don't ask me to do things like you're my mother.
Don't ever, EVER call me "love" "sweetie" or "hot" ever again.
I fucking hate your pictures and how they are everywhere. They're disgusting.
When you laugh really really hard and/or exclaim "OH MY GOD!!!" at the
top of your lungs, don't say "oh, never mind" when I ask you whats
going on.
You are NOT bi, you're a fucking fag- deal with it.
I'm tired about hearing of your "overseas" friends or your "sister".
She is not your sister, she is a kid you had for foreign exchange. Stop
calling her that.
The fact that I smoke pot is none of your business.
Stop asking me to hang out with you because I never will.
If i'm throwing up or feeling like shit- do NOT touch me.
I don't want to see any of your shitty movies.
You telling me about your sex dreams REALLY REALLY creeps me out, its repulsive.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!
I hate this.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2005|07:09 pm] |
As a request from Michael, I hereby present to you my:
10 Things that bring me happiness:
1. Blasting Trance unnecessarily loud
2. Dancing to Trance with my closest friends (raves)
3. laughing so hard it lasts days
4. Being stoned in another country
5. Crushes
6. picking up and leaving to somewhere ive never been before
7. Albertson's Splash
8. Creating adventures
9. the feeling where no one could even pay you to be anywhere else in the world
10. International Flights |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|07:39 pm] |
Hello all,
First off, I would like to apologize for my seemingly unanswerable
disappearance. I guess you could say that Ive been learning about my
brother pretty intensely these past few weeks. Its been good, hanging
out with him and stuff. Its weird having to go through the same things
as last year. With him being a new student it's like ive had to relive
hell all over again. I'm trying to get his foot in the water I guess.
However, I would be lying if I didn't say I missed you guys.
preeeeeeeeeetty sure you know who you are.
Things have been slow, class has been alright (especially with
voluptuous Sara), and I uploaded a sweet ass for my Icon. Bump it.
oh, hey. psst. Guess what. Can't wait for LoveParade ...SO WHOSE
GOING?!? Oh and i'm looking to do something this thursday, anyone up
for some bumpin and grindin?
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 25th, 2005|09:35 am] |
I have no idea how this year is going to go. Its either going to be super oober fun, OOOOOOOOOOOR shit. I think this is the cut off year.
Be prepared.
Ps. I'm thinking about having another competition, but I don't know what I should do. Any Ideas? Something preferably that won't drive people to madness and depression. something nice.
fin. |
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| Whatever |
[Aug. 17th, 2005|02:07 am] |
The power of love is an amazing thing. What if everyone just loved instead of judged? What if we just stopped being angry over at someone for believing in a different religion or believing in different morals or believing in anything different?
Everyone is different. I know that. I have no control over this. I'm here on this earth and there is the whole population of the world with me with an infinite amount of variety that goes with it. They are going to believe in whatever they are going to believe in and they are going to do whatever they are going to do so I'm going to love them because, ya know what, having people around and being able to love and respect another person indirectly just makes this whole life thing a lot better. Not to mention theres so many facets to love! By just loving instead of judging I'm forging a relationship and a love just as unique as life.
We are all in this same time period together as a collective. We're all truckin' in the same direction. We spend so much time arguing about who is right and who is wrong. Why can't we just realize that everyone is different and that our rights and our wrongs about everything are very individual. If we come to realize that and transcend that theres no room for hate.
This probably explains why im so indifferent about things. You are going to do whatever you are going to do, but if I clear away the whole notion of right and wrong, there isn't any hate, there isn't any anger, all I can do is love you. In one aspect, I agree with the Bible. Sin is all the same. Whether you lie or kill, its all the same. By putting one sin over another you are judging whether one is worse than the other and isn't that left up to God? Let God handle it, thats his job.
Things that are wrong are always going to exist. Whether its a drive by in LA or a whole enslavement of a country, its always going to be there. I think ive lost count on how many crimes against humanity are occuring around the world right now. We're doing all we can in the world, but we just can't stop this. These "wrong" things happen in every shelf of society. But if I can put my differences with how you run your own life aside and love you for the actual person you are and you can do the same there can only be happiness and peace.
If you like the color green and I don't, so what, its what you like, that shouldn't stop me from loving you. Even if you're a republican who likes to shoot animals, or a doctor who likes to kill patients or whatever, I still have no right to say whats right and wrong because you are just as much your own person as I am. If you hear me say "whatever" about something, don't think im trying to be difficult or that im weak, just remember that, who am I to tell you what to believe or what to do. Just as long as I love and respect you for the person you are, nothing else really matters.
Don't love a person for what they do, love a person for who they are. You'll only get to know if you give it a chance. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2005|07:46 pm] |
I'll give you one guess to find the answer:
GUESS WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO SEE DJ TIESTO IN LOS ANGELES ON THE 20TH!?!
this is tight. Enough said.
Not to mention I'll be goin with MY HOMIE:
<3
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2005|02:20 pm] |
Well, as some or all of you know, I have returned from my jaunt from Europe. I will have pictures shortly! I had the most amazing time, however, I miss my brit friends like no other. Its tough to get accustomed to a lifestyle that you were once part of for a prolonged period of time and then just be ripped from it like a Caesarian Section. Believe me, its filled with blood and tears.
Side Note: I was listening to Phil Stumpf (http://www.mdz.de/phil-stumpf/frameset.html) from a reccomendation of Thomas aka Stylewalker (stylewalker.net) and my grandmother seemed to think someone was having a fight in my room. "its all that bloody row" she said. It just brought a smile to my face and also the stark realization of the ever so apparent generation gap. However, for that, Thomas (and phil if you're out there) I apologize :)
Something that I found really weird: I was over at my neighbor's house bringing her a breakfast bundt cake- a woman of about 65 who grew up in philly, but somehow got stuck with conservative beliefs- apparently she doesn't sympathize with the American Indian movement. I found it rather odd since we did rape and steal their country. Oh well, I guess it is time they changed and got out of that stupid reservation idea, anyway.
Last night was fantastic, I was over at my wonderful beth's house for her fathers surprise 50th birthday....even though his birthday is April 20th.......and its 15 months too late... ANYWAY, it was really really pleasant! There was a little live band that did some Jazz and Swing while everyone ate hors d'oeuvres. They also had a little 1954 theme to the party, where as soon as you arrived you had to pick up a name tag with an important figure of 1954, whether it be someone who was born or a significant event that surrounded a person. Being the lovely family that we are, my mother chose Patty Hearst and I chose Joe McCarthy... how appropriate. I'm just glad that when my mother was rediculously drunk and my father left with her she wasn't screaming she had been brainwashed.
Oh, and if any of you find the time, Please visit my wonderful friend "1" over at www.livejournal.com/users/babyboo16 shes ma GIRL!
I hope all of you are having a wonderful summer AND I WILL SEE MOST OF YOU IN SF SOON!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2005|04:16 pm] |
Eh, Ive been in kind of a state the past few days. I haven't been out of the house, none of my friends are able to call me. I don't know what im going to do!! Ive just been sitting at home reading and fattening myself up on all this unhealthy food the brits seem to immerse themselves in. Not to mention Im sick of hearing about the bombings on TV. All 5 channels are clogged with the same news reels and the only free channel has something about babies or some shit.
HOWEVER, my obsession with Big Brother has been rekindled (why is the UK version just SO MUCH BETTER). Here are my stats on the housemates and what I think of them:
Craig - youre a whiney bitch and you can stop crying over anthony because hes a closet-case too and he will never like you, but hes fucking dumb as a box of rocks. And if you can, please change your voice because everytime you talk Im forced to wince.
Derrek - you pompous asshole. You have your knowledge down straight, but you are SO NOT. Good thing you don't talk a lot because the same can be said of you as craig. ps. why are you in the BB house? Youre 40, dude.
Eugene - Dear lord. Honestly, anything you say everyone just stops caring. You zone everyone out. Have you ever had a girlfriend? Well, with a grill like that im not surprised.
Orlaith - yeah, youre pretty and you have nice tits and youre irish and shit, but what a fucking slapper you are for on your first day there everyone went and felt your tits. You slut.
Maxwell - youre a cool dude. Yeah, youre kind of a lad at times. But overall, I think I want you to win.
Anthony - AH YOURE HOT! Youre good enough for a shag anyway. mr. I-have-to-make-sure-im-prettier-than-all-the-girls. God, you take metro to the extreme.
Makosi - Youre pretty cool actually. 'nuff said.
Kamal - Christ, can you ever make an entrance! Although that make up, girl clothes thing is kind of weird... At least youre confident...
Science - youre boring. I'm evicting you this weekend.
Vanessa - You wear the same thing all the time. Have some variety! All you do is sit in that damn bed with makosi and kemal and just agree with everyone else. Youre the next to go, hussie.
Well there you have it. If you need more info on what im talking about check here: www.channel4.com/bigbrother
GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW!
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| Absinthe party! |
[Jul. 4th, 2005|03:35 pm] |
Its the fourth of july and I'm all alone in this strange country.
Well, never fear! Due to my excellent resourcefulness Ive found some sort of party-esque thing going on in brighton to help those stranded americans!! WOO! From what ive read theres a 2 story double decker bus and everybody parties on it drinking absinthe all day! well, if this all pans out, I'm sure I'll have stories to tell.
LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2005|03:17 pm] |
FUCK! I hate being in such a fucking pickle.
I can't make my flight to amsterdam tomorrow because my parents don't want me to go alone. I was going to let a friend of mine go but apparently to change the names it costs £30 and then whatever the flight difference is. This equals up to a tally of £154. Fucking great.
Good thing i only paid £45 (which is about $80) for the flight, but that means I just pissed it away, really. Not to mention that I have this Brighton College Ryle House dinner on tuesday. And I really could have used that £45 too.
AH THE STRESSES OF TRAVELING!!!!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2005|10:04 pm] |
its a saturday night and im by myself. What to do, what to do.
should I:
A) Call my cousin and get up to no good probably and spend way too much money.
or
B) try the bars out by myself and see what comes of it.
Honestly, I'm scared at either. Partly on the fact that all I have on me right now is my card and I don't know if that will get me far... We shall see however. I might just play the dumb american tourist and see if I can meet people to hang out with. I think I might do that. I'll keep you guys updated on my evening
Love you guys loads
KC |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2005|02:30 pm] |
well dear journal,
I have just returned from a stint on dear james' cousins boat. A lovely time it was, really. We drove up and down the thames frequenting the local pubs that lie around the river. In the evening we got intensely inebriated both of the liquid and herbal sort and fell drizzly asleep. Have you ever heard of an instant barbeque, journal?? NEITHER HAVE I! A great thing that is... Anyway, time to be naughty ;-)
Casey |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|03:48 pm] |
Ah well the good times never cease do they? haha not if I can help it!
James, a good school friend of mine from here invited me on his mega rich aunt's yacht for the 200th anniversary of the battle of trafalgar and lord nelson. WELL! These are actually good people and they are fantastic, but they are all of the posh sort and they are a bit out of touch with reality. HOWEVER, they invited me to this celelbration and there were battle ships from all around the world and they all came between portsmouth and the isle of wight.
Just here:
well we sailed from lymington to portsmouth for this big celebration where there was supposed to be the hugest fireworks display in the UK and then the queen was supposed to parade around on her boat and all that shit. The only problem was, was that James was still stuck at school for most of the day doing his finals so I was stuck on this boat with all these people I had hardly even known before talking about yacht this and money that. well I managed to sneak away and talk to this really hot and cool guy from poland who the aunt had actually hired to work on the yacht for her. Well needless to say this wasnt a good thing for him because I took him away from his work and then the aunt got a little pissy with me because she needed to order him around. I got a bit embarressed after that and ended up spending a lovely afternoon with this stereotypical irish grandmother (whose last name happened to be higgins, neil!) and we just made fun of all the people full of money and what not who were by not completely wasted on champagne and wine and whiskey.
The boats were actually really spectacular in the afternoon, but then the weather turned really rainy and we had to turn back to lymington. conveniently enough, James had just arrived at the train station so Hugo (James cousin) and I had a few drinks at a pub just around the corner from the train station from where james was going to meet us. Well, if any of you know me, if im going to drink (especially beer) I have to get my money's worth. Well, 3 pints later we were all laughing and stumbling on our way back to the yacht. Well, since everyone was really drunk on the boat already, the three of us decided to have a few more beers. So we each respectively go down to the cooler and stock up ourselves for the journey ahead and we watch the fireworks and everthing but end up getting REALLY REALLY drunk in the process. I somehow ventured downstairs and was talking with this cabin boy who was telling all about his travels around turkey and europe and everywhere else and the conversation kind of turned to relationships at which point I had no reserves in telling him (and everyone else apparently) that I was gay and I fear that I might have ended up making a fool of myself. After this, I wandered back upstairs to the awe struck looks on the faces of everyone else and was just laughing with james and hugo on the top deck. James by this time had had too much to drink and was throwing up everywhere and then took off all of his clothes to wipe up the throw up! Well combined with the both of us, we created this huge scene on the boat where james' mother had to put some clothes back on him and stick us both down in the beds where the crew cabin sleeps (shes a cool bitch so I think she understood and didnt really care).
The next morning was spent spraying down the boat and trying find where james had put his clothes... I didn't really say anything as I was really embarressed at my outlandish behavior the night before!! God...
Oh and as a warning, please don't make fun of me when I come back for the way that I talk because I realize my intonation and word choice has changed to a decidedly british direction and I got a lot shit from all of you last time... :)
That was such a fun afternoon anyway and tomorrow I'm going with James up to London to Hugo's boat where I suppose we're to spend a few days on his boat on the river thames. Its going to be a drunken stupor no less, but good fun!
Wish all of you the best!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|12:47 pm] |
Ah what a crazy few days it has been.
Beth has left, sadly, but I will return to her as soon as possible.
Last night I found myself in about 4 or 5 different bars with the cuz where we met this strange older couple over playing a game of pool. We then got completely drunk and had a few laughs while trying to attempt to even play a decent game... i'm sure you can put together how well that went. Then we went to another bar that is right outside on the seafront where we had this extremely serious discussion about aids which quickly calmed my libido, but it was very informative. About 3 drinks later it was suddenly dark (I can't fill in for you the exact details but it just *ended up* dark... don't ask me how) and we were in this other weird beachy type bar with reed fencing and white washed walls where suddenly out of now where my cousin is greeting this, well, typical looking guy and this huge 6ft black woman who is (well, used to be) a man! We all had a great time dancing and laughing. However this did not last long. We then bid adieu to this weird older couple (who were very nice in fact) and headed back to the guy and the girls house. Then we got into this heavy discussion about honesty where this woman was pressuring me into telling her what I think of her relationship with this man that ive only met a few hours before.
Well, I told- honestly- and said that she was not right for him from what I can see (which of course I had no evidence to back up my claims, but she was asking for it so I told her... fair enough right?) and then what ensued was this huge argument about loyalty and honesty and then she had the nerve to tell me that she had been so hard done by because of her brothers death which happened about 30 years before AND THE ACCIDENT WITH MY BROTHER HAD NO RELEVANCE... Needless to say, I had stopped listening about 20 minutes into the conversation anyway and so I just started repeating "end conversation end conversation end conversation" as you would hear in a style similar to "danger will robinson". Of course she kept on talking, so I just left the room, followed immediately by my cousin.
Never get into arguments with 6ft tall black women who used to be men, I repeat.
I spent all day sunday recovering and now I find myself here at this quaint and quirky internet cafe writing about my adventures... oh how strange life is. I have no agenda for the day so I might go grab a drink or fish and chips and see where the day takes me.
I hope you are all doing well and that you all will keep me updated on your adventures as well...
you guys are the best
x x x x |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|02:10 pm] |
Well just to let all of you know that all is well here with me...
At the moment I am in budapest which is lovely!! the city is so spectacular and it is perhaps one of the most beautiful cities I have been to yet. beth and I arrived last night with a few problems at the airport but they were all sorted out. Apparently rachel was stuck in a nearby town and the bus was late. luckily she had a friend pick us up after a few pages on the intercom and I was able to hear it as I was walking by the speaker at just the right moment.
We spent the evening at this amazing outside cafe in this huge square that supposedly is the local hangout, however there are a lot of tourists that travel there as well. This was perfect as the forint (the hungarian currency) is about 200 to the dollar and most *expensive* meals run around 2100 forints :D
Although the wait and service was horrible, the food was spectacular. Rachel met a friend of hers, chris, from australia, on her travels and he was actually going to be in budapest last night so it was good to have him along as well.
Following, we took a taxi around the city (about $1.32!) to an outside bar/square where most of the locals and university students relax. People were lounging around on the steps drinking freely and enjoying the warm weather and it truly was a fantastic atmosphere. After meeting a few of rachels friends from university we then headed to this massive outside venue in Buda (opposite side of the river from Pest) where there were TONS of people. There were multiple dance stages with huge screens displaying images from cameras that were set up around the facility. The music was played by a dj in a huge 20ft tower overlooking all the dance stages with lights and everything else you can imagine. There was also several huge bars and sitting areas that were definitely taken advantage of. We met up with a few more of rachels friends and we danced the night away from about 11pm to 4am and it didnt stop there! Apparently this venue is open every day of the week and lasts until 6-7 in the morning! this city definitely knows how to party.
Paris was great as well! Beth and I arrived late on the 16th to wake up stephen who was sleeping in the apartment. We actually stayed with a woman that rachel reccomended who she had heard of from word of mouth. The next few days we toured the city seeing everything from the 20,000 flashing lights on the eiffel tower to the sacre coure (sp?) to everything in between. Not to mention we did explore the nightlife! There were a few brasseries (cafe's really...) that were hopping and then while beth and stephen went off I went off and explored the nightlife a little more to my liking... ;P I'll let all of you know of the stories later...
Madame colombo was wonderful however very blunt which was a bit hard to get used to. Her hospitality was fantastic and the experience was unforgettable.
Seeing the family in the UK was a bit difficult as the hospitality extended by them, however great, was still met with strife as my family is a bit... pretentious. My cousin was rude to beth (thank god she didnt notice) and it to say that the experience was devastating would be an understatement. Although, I am just glad that beth enjoyed herself and reveled in the experience of meeting my old friends (Fred, beth... ;p) and we had a wonderful time partying with them and catching up.
As for now, I believe we are about to head off to see the sights here in Budapest and head off to a Barbeque that Vera, the girl that picked us up from the airport, is putting on at her house. On the 21st we leave this great city back to london to see the sights there and meet up with family (pray for me) and then beth leaves.
For me there will be a pub crawl with my old school mates, an overnight trip to a theme park with school mates, and a probable trip to amsterdam. I hope all is going well with all of you and I hope none of you have been naughty in my leave :-)
you guys are awesome x x x
KC |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|01:05 pm] |
Well kids its up:
I leave in about 10 min for:
ENGLAND!!!!!
PARIS!!!!!!!
BUDAPEST!!!!
AMSTERDAM!!!
Can somebody say "FUCKING EXCITING"?!?!?!!?
I love you all guys and I love you brig for the call!!!!
<3 casey
Ps. if you want me to send you a postcard, SEND ME YOUR ADDRESS!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2005|01:20 am] |
As the date nears closer to my departure, I think to myself.
I always long for the opposite of wherever I am. If I'm in San Francisco, I long for the beaches and sunshine and glamour of Los Angeles. If I'm down South, I long for the liberal, political, care-free, bohemian lifestyles of San Francisco. In America, I long for the liberating, lively, bussling centeres of Europe. If Im in Europe (for a prolonged period of time that is), I long for the sunshine and relaxedness of California.
Oh well, I shouldn't worry of this anyway.
I really hope my parents don't get caught with the pot that is being smoked in the house. If someone lets on to the police that we have been smoking here, my dad will go back to prison and we will have to sell everything and I would have to drop out of school... Please don't let anything happen.
I think I should start heading off, I think the marijuana is getting to my brain. Not to mention I have this raging account of eye irritation that is causing me to tear up and itch in the most peculiar way. Or it could be that I need to remove my lenses of contact from my face. Or it could be that I just rubbed it and all the dirt that was on my hand is now in my eye and that is why it is becoming more and more irritated because I just keep rubbing it like this. Oh dear GOD I think this is killing me!!!
hahahahhaahhahahaha no I don't. Ooo ahahahah.... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2005|01:01 pm] |
We're passing by a mexican restaurant in our car:
Nana: "I bet its all mexicans who go in there..." |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 29th, 2005|12:11 pm] |
excerpts from my wonderful grandmother:
Scene: My mom, grandmother (the british one), and I are all driving home from the mall. My grandmother is talking about her boyfriend (yes, she has one :-P)
Nana: "Dave never cleans up when hes in the kitchen! When I try and help he tells me to sit down, but then hes at it again telling me to get him this spice or that package. He should have a little black boy run around after him."
Scene: Just a few moments ago, in the kitchen, I asked my mom and grandmother just out in the open if watermelon came from the United States. My nana's response
Nana: "IT CAME FROM THE SOUTH! didn't it?! All those blackies sitting around eating it, with it in their teeth. I mean... It must have..."
Ooohh nana, the joys you bring... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2005|03:41 am] |
Sometimes I wonder if my brothers even want me around.
Tonight I had a few people over and it got a little out of hand and alex and adam invited people over too, but I thought it was just going to be my friends. Anyway, my situation goes awry with evan being fucking really drunk and kristin freaking out because hes driving, I can only think what alex and everyone else was thinking.
THEN sam northway was here... damn, that kid is so freaking hot. man... I couldn't take my eyes off of him, it was so bad...
Well, now my brothers are off at some party and im stuck at home. I think theyre with sam northway... I wish I was with him... AH!! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 22nd, 2005|07:55 pm] |
God there are so many things that I wish I could do right now. It seems that the world isnt moving fast enough to keep up with me. On the other hand i'm still in a little of a weird place right now. Man, would I ever save so much if my emotions just didn't get in the way. No matter...
I just want to type right now, I like the way it feels on my fingers. Its so smooth and Its something that I am actually pretty good at so just to have that rhthym and just go and not stop its just so much fun because its feels so nice and i think that i'm just going to keep doing this becuase it feels so good and I now i don't know what to type, I don't know where im going to go to study abroad, I was thinking about Denmark because I think that would be cool because I want to go somewhere where no one really goes to that is less popular. I was thinking about russia but the school doesnt have any programs that are affiliated with them :(
I don't know what else to say.
Oh wait- I just drank a red bull and I love the energy, its such a welcome change. I love it. And I love you. and you. and you and you and you and you. and yes of course you too. Well... not so much you, but you can still be my friend. Yes, you and you. And you.
And then there was a little boy who had to do an essay on the degradation of education who was on his last paragragh and a half and he doesnt want to start, but he knows that its going to take him all night. ps. that kid totally is me. And I love belle and sebastian, the music is so cool. They talk about Jesus as if he was a goal of some sort. I love them and the places that they talk about.
Fuck man, im cracked out.
I love urination. |
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| Friend Test Finale!!! |
[May. 20th, 2005|08:38 pm] |
Yes folks the numbers are in!
As you may have remembered I mentioned the friend test a while back and
how my friends would be judged according to their performance in my
life thus far. If you don't remember you might want to scroll back a
few posts.
Well, it was a supremely close race. I had to bust out the calculator
at a few places but Ive paid close attention to specifics. My decision
was based on performance, loyalty, and execution. The winner I have
been very close with. They have always never failed to make me feel
better when im stressed, they have always stuck by me in hard times,
and I could not go a day without them.
So with 1,254 points, THE WINNER IIIISS ::drum roll::
Yes, thats right: MY RIGHT HAND!!!!
I couldn't have done it without you buddy. You have been my best friend
when i'm lonely and I can call on you day or night. You help me imagine
things that I would never have thought possible. Yes, friend, you have
impacted my life in a way I can't describe and I will love you forever
<33
To all others, you guys were fantastic, but sometimes you just can't equal to a great wank.
Much love,
Casey
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2005|12:28 am] |
Well this weekend was thoroughly great
Friday:
I traveled the 400 miles back to my home with my lovely 
and we had a blast to say the least. She was going back for her old
high schools prom and I was going to see the fam. As soon as I got home
my brother showed me his new 
and of course we put it to good use. Following we went to a friend of
his house and we ended up getting rediculously inebriated having
something like 5 or 6 pieces. Needless to say, I didn't remember much
:-)
Saturday:
I spent most of the afternoon sleeping and watching  which I completely forgot was still a mediocre movie. I also got to see my wonderful  and we went to my fav. place  . Following I went to my friend 
birthday, his 21st!!! He just bought a 5 bdrm. house and a new jaguar
and his party was awesome to say the least: catered, soundsystem, open
bar... and hes only 21 wow. well I felt really awkward when I arrived
because I had completely forgotten that it was formal dress and so of
course I showed up in shorts and a t-shirt. I was so happy because I
got to see my old Mimi's crew and friends!!!!!:     as well as  and  . It was so much fun. And of course I got completely trashed on free booze. The night again... was a blur.
Sunday:
I slept most of the afternoon slowly recovering from the night before of much  I slept most of the time in the car while  drove and I listened to  then of course we stopped again at which was lovely. It was great until her  crawled all over my face.
To all those who I didn't see this weekend, I apologize. Please don't
take it seriously. I shall be home in a week and a half and we shall
hang mucho.
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2005|12:09 am] |
Ive lost all motivation to post. I am sorry...
maybe I will soon. |
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| MY WEEKEND |
[May. 2nd, 2005|09:07 pm] |
My weekend!!!
Well for all of you who do not know where I was this weekend, I was in
Vallejo. Not "Vallejo" Vallejo, Glen Cove.... so its nice. These are
just a few of the memories
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| Day 2 |
[May. 2nd, 2005|09:28 am] |
its day 2, I'm still up. my breathing is shallow and the muscles around my face are weak. My feet- its hard to walk. my legs don't seem to want to work. My arms are heavy and sore. My eyes, oh my eyes, they are like raspberries, red with fatigue. thoughts escape in and out of my head, its difficult to focus. My head is swimming, I have no energy. How do I find myself in these situations? Oh God, my vision is getting blurry. I think im losing control of my bowels. nausea is taking over torso, my chest, my throat. I need to go to class. Must- make- it- |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|12:26 pm] |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRENE!!!
So with that said, I want to get drunk. I was looking at the pictures of when Anne, Brandon, Kayley, and I partied a while back and I suddenly got extremely nostalgic and homesick. I miss those guys. That night was probably the most fun Ive had in a while in bakersfield. Just relaxing, hanging out, Harold playing guitar.
Everyone was just so nice... it was kinda like a  and I enjoyed it very very much. Hopefully these good times will continue.
Ive also been having a bit of a conflict in what I want to do with my life. I mean, the only thing that I want to do is travel everywhere and meet people and share stories,  and basically have a good time. Too bad they don't have a major for that...
I miss all of you like crazy and I will see you guys soon. Then, the Peace, Love, and Unity will begin. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|02:32 am] |
Czech out this beaut:
 |
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| Death to LIVEJOURNAL!!!! |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|01:56 am] |
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Thats right, you heard correct. There is no more livejournal. From now on, coined by lovely briget, it will be:
EL-GINA
Do not be alarmed. This will all seem normal sooooon....
So I got stoned again, didn't really do much today. Getting stoned was horrible because I had to be outside in public and I hate being outside in public. I get so freaked out and it was certainly not cool in the highest. But you know what, I can't complain because I got stoned when there are so many other stoners out there wishing that they could and they can't because of some painfully serious, life threatening reason.
And I went over to lindsay's and I saw the end of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And Moulin Rouge. And end.
I was thinking about it and I can feel inside me that im going to end up in Paris. I don't know how I know but I just do. Perhaps thats just what is meant to be. I guess we'll see when that time comes anyway... like ALMOST A MONTH AWAY!
This is a fuckin' mad house! WOOOOOO! |
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| I say this with excruciating vehemence... |
[Apr. 8th, 2005|12:44 pm] |
With severe emphasis on those who "think" know me: you need to stop expecting I am going to conform to your rediculous, short-sighted, incongruous, entirely inane religious and moral stipulations. You obviously have not even the slightest notion of comprehension to who exactly I am and therefore the basis of our relationship is on false pretenses. If my sense of humor happens to be a little brash for you. Simply, I don't care.
The fact that you even propose for me remain in the boundaries of some thoroughly ludicris agenda that is blatantly lacking in intellectual acuity brings a smile to my face. Your vile and contemptible inclination towards preserving all that is "holy" and "just" is an indisputable illustration of your true, horrid and utterly detestable life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 7th, 2005|12:08 pm] |
So I was almost caught in an umcompromising situation just now. Luckily with my stealth moves and excellent radar deflection I was able to avoid embarressment.
and if by uncompormising situation you mean choking it to cheap internet porn... well, you might have been correct. |
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| The Friend Test |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|09:56 pm] |
Ive decided to implement among my friends a wonderful point system. When a friend displays the great characteristics that I think a frind should consist of (calling me back if I call them, being considerate and showing interest in my life, getting me coffee, etc.(think harry potter House points)), I will award each friend with however many points as I feel just. The friend by the end of the year with most wins a special prize to be announced at the end of the competition. Now go out there and start- your- winning!!
So far Christina is ahead with five points. Lets not let her get the SPECIAL PRIZE!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|12:50 pm] |
I'd like to start this entry off with a little poem ive composed:
gillette comes in a series
so does nascar
mach 5 isnt a speed
which isnt just a channel
kohl is a bitch.
Now, with that blantantly obvious, I would like to move on to a more important subject: my hair. Yes folks, its all gone. And while I cannot show you my new doo due to circumstances out of my control, you'll just have to reel your minds back, say, 8 months. Remember? ok.
Now let me bring you up to date on the events leading up to this catastrophic, yet utterly needed action. Picture a room- pretty ordinary, windows, walls, the works. Now, enter father figure, a firm, yet somewhat understanding, completely out of touch with reality, englishman.
Father (in accent): Casey, we're getting you a haircut, your hair is done with.
Me: But- well, ok.
Now lets fast forward to the hair salon. A rather wretched looking woman with curly hair and a particularly horrible orange/blond dye job is standing at the computer. We're going to refer to her as Tramp.
Tramp: your name.
Father: excuse me?
Tramp: your name, I need it to bring up your account.
After exchanging the necessary details I was forced through duress to create a new account.
Tramp: *sigh* ok, your name?
Me: Casey Doward
Tramp: What?
Me: I said Casey Doward, that man you just took back is my dad.
Tramp: Spell it.
Me: C-A-S-
Tramp: No. your last name.
Me: D-O-W-A-R-D. you just took my dad back.
Tramp: lets go, I can take you back.
After discussing my rather lengthy predicament with her, I explained with chilling clarity (as well as pointing out a large picture to her) what I wanted.
Tramp: you dont want that, you already have that.
Me: (speechless)
Tramp: here, look at this, you have a nice square face so you can pretty much work with anything. Try this (she then points to the exact same haircut I had 8 months ago.)
Me: well I was going to try something a little different, but I do realize my hair is kind of dead, can you try and work something out?
Tramp: Now lets see (at this point she takes out the buzzers and buzzes large chunks of hair out, after she is done with her hacking, she spins me around on the chair with enough furvor to break a small childs neck.)
Tramp: yes?
Me: well.. its not what I had in mind, but its ok I guess (hiding my rage). Can you see if you can take a little off the back here it seems too long.
Tramp: well, I dont know why because everyone else seems to like it at that length and your just going to be different.
Me: (Thinking in my head): I don't pay you to think you mangy slut, just DO WHAT I FUCKING SAY.
Me: (what was said) I don't mind.
Tramp: there. wait- let me add some product, now youre going to want to use this Product in your hair. (After this she continues to empty an entire bottle of some unknown substance that looks like rubber cement, covers it in her disgusting palms and spreads it on my head forcefully with a face as if shes wiping on me some deadly disease.)
Me: (looking like ive come out of my mothers womb) yeah, thanks.
Tramp: you can pay at the counter.
Father: oh... well. uh, right.
Tramp: 14 bucks please (sticks out her hand. my father takes his time.)
Father: Lets go. Now.
Now, after some minor changes I think ive made this a pretty darn good haircut. Although its not at all what I wanted and is entirely too short, I have received some compliments on it. However, notwithstanding, comments between my father and I were exchanged. |
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| CASEY: a hopeful teenage guy who has nothing left to live for....aka really high |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|06:01 pm] |
Do you ever get that feeling that you just have this power over
everyone. Like you can predict what theyre going to say, or you can
read into exactly who they are without them ever knowing or resisting?
thats what I feel like I can do. I can read people and understand how
damaged their soul is from all the hurtful slander, I can read and find
their worst nightmares. Their eyes are usually cold and scared, though
some of them are just dumb and vacant. You never are who we all set
ourselves out to be. Its just the way it is sometimes and we have to
accept that fact. We are all these rediculous personality people who
have no idea on how to communicate whatsoever. Its shrouded by lies and
imitation. We've got to FIGHT THIS MENACE!! This menace is the reason
for our troubles. We set ourselves to be one person, but we are not
being true to ourselves. Then we end up forming relationships and
situations that are fragile to our personalities. We then become these
bruised and battered people covered in a make-up of lies. BE TRUE, if
that be the only thing you remember. Be true.
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 22nd, 2005|11:55 am] |
Mostly Innocent
You are 73% pure |
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 |
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 34% on purity |
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HECK YES!
So, I'm back in the good ol' town of bakersfield. Its good to be back... So far ive been blitzed out of my mind for the past few days and im starting to forget what day it is. Im probably either going to do it tonight again or pass out from exhaustion. Thats the country life I guess... I'm supposed to be hanging out with my friend jessie today and I don't know where shes gotten to. I know she has a hefty week ahead of her and its hard for her to fit people in, but DAMNIT! I wish there were two of her.
School is vunderful. I had a week of hell before spring break and my best bud Maigon decided to come and surprise me. It was a fun drug and alcohol induced few days which wooshed past in a blur. It started with a bottle of wine on thursday and it still hasn't stopped.
I'm going skiing/snowboarding tomorrow! I'll be hitting the slopes with my board (in ski school) and if I decide I don't like it, I'll come back with those ski's that ive missed so much! It should be a lot of fun! Four days is pretty heavy but we should be able to even out the soreness of it all pretty nicely ;).
OH yeah, we just found out that the furniture guys gyp'd us on our ottoman. They gave us the showroom floor ottoman thats all scratched up and the wrong color and height. Its not even as nice! it makes me wonder how I can spot the differences and I'm fucked up and these guys don't even think twice. Those assholes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|12:19 am] |
so Ive decided that living is the most rewarding thing that we, as humans, can ever experience. We are opened up to so many experiences and different ways of thinking that its completely fascinating. We can go from highs to lows to different places on the planet, to new ways of thinking, to being able to love so utterly and completely, to help people, to actually make a difference in peoples lives and have the ability to make them better. We are given so much power in living that most of us don't realize it. Just by living, we have the power to do anything that we want. We have the ability to change to stay the same, to be anything that we can possibly imagine. Its the best gift ive ever been given. |
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